


Abnegation

by Eralk Fang (EralkFang)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Ritual Sex, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:23:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7080916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EralkFang/pseuds/Eralk%20Fang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux sets his datapad down on his desk very deliberately. He purses his lips, and his eyes flicker away from Kylo’s to glance up and down the long line of his body. Kylo is used to the sharp, short appraisal with which the general evaluates everyone, himself included, with, but this gaze lingers. It has a different quality to it, a seeking kind, as if he’s seeing Kylo in a different light. Faint heat prickles at Kylo’s exposed edges—his cheekbones, his lips—but he remains placid of expression. “Surely,” Hux says, after a long pause, “surely you can deny yourself release without my… <em>active</em> participation?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Abnegation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [K_dAzrael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_dAzrael/gifts).



> Written for [the following prompt at tfa_kink](https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/3961.html?thread=9153145#cmt9153145):
>
>> Kylo has taken it upon himself to go old-school chaste, to dedicate himself more completely to the dark side. However, he also starts up a sexual relationship with Hux, wherein he denies himself relief but takes Hux apart as a sort of orgasm proxy. He tells himself it's so he'll feel the frustration more keenly, but he knows he just wants him.
> 
> Dedicated to [kdazrael](http://kdazrael.tumblr.com/) because this is very much inspired by "[To the Pure](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6485509?view_full_work=true)." THANKS FOR YOUR FINE WORK IN THE AREA OF PSEUDORELIGIOUS SMUT! ilu a bit never change
> 
> Spot the _A Knight's Tale_ reference and win Internet bucks!

It is a grave misunderstanding of the Dark Side of the Force to think that it preaches total surrender into one’s darker passions. 

In truth, the Dark Side of the Force bids its practitioners to master these emotions. The inability to do the same was the loathsome Jedi Order’s downfall—their desperation to suppress, submerge, and ignore their emotions in pursuit of an unrealistic ideal. In this way, the Sith were always superior to their opposite numbers, testing themselves constantly against the specter of temptation, not running from it like children.

To this end, the rite of abnegation was a traditional cornerstone of Sith training, and it is a rite Supreme Leader Snoke has finally allowed Kylo Ren to undertake. The privilege honors Kylo deeply. It is exciting, to make such progress in his training that Supreme Leader trusts him to perform this sacred rite without his direct supervision. But he must not let his pride at his progress cloud his judgment, as it so often does. He must be careful in equal measure to his master’s absence.

First, he must secure that which he will abnegate.

“I must say, I was surprised to see that you had _actually_ made an appointment to see me, Lord Ren.”

General Hux, preoccupied by his datapad, seems to be amused more than anything else by Kylo’s unusual adherence to First Order protocol. But that, for them, is good. It is progress. 

Kylo adjusts his position, tucking his helmet under his arm. He gazes evenly as he can manage at Hux, although he can sense his heart rate increasing steadily. “General Hux, I have come to formally request your aid in my training.”

Hux raises a sharp eyebrow, pursing his lips, but he does not look up. Kylo is not sure if he would prefer Hux to gaze upon him directly or not. 

“ _Formally_? Goodness, we _are_ following protocol today.” For a moment, Kylo worries that Hux’s amusement is shading towards his natural cruelty, but the general just gives a resigned sigh. “How may I be of assistance to you, Lord Ren?”

“Supreme Leader has judged me ready to participate in the rite of abnegation.” Kylo pauses, thinking of how best to describe it to someone as spectacularly unmoored from the spiritual realm as Hux. “I ask that you… _assist_ me.” 

Hux raises an eyebrow. “And just what is this ‘rite of abnegation’?” Kylo almost winces at how Hux puts palpable quotation marks around the phrase—separating it, mocking it. He wishes, not for the first time, that the General did not occupy such a central part in his life. But he must make do with what he has. 

“The rite of abnegation differs from person to person,” Kylo says, stiffly. “The aim is to deny yourself something you want. In my case, I would service you.” 

“Service me?” Hux, at last, glances up from the datapad, brows knitting ever so slightly. The curious look in his eyes sends a faint, trembling warmth across Kylo’s skin. 

Kylo lifts his chin. “Pleasure you while denying myself release.”

Hux sets his datapad down on his desk very deliberately. He purses his lips, and his eyes flicker away from Kylo’s to glance up and down the long line of his body. Kylo is used to the sharp, short appraisal with which the general evaluates everyone, himself included, with, but this gaze lingers. It has a different quality to it, a seeking kind, as if he’s seeing Kylo in a different light. Faint heat prickles at Kylo’s exposed edges—his cheekbones, his lips—but he remains placid of expression. “Surely,” Hux says, after a long pause, “surely you can deny yourself release without my… _active_ participation?” 

Kylo swallows. It hadn’t occurred to him that Hux might _decline_. “The rite is not about denying your desire for something in the abstract. That,” he spits, “is the way of the Jedi. The rite of abnegation is about the active frustration of your temptation. To resist it, again and again.”

“To sharpen yourself like a blade against the stone of your want,” Hux murmurs. It sounds like he’s quoting from something, but what, Kylo does not recognize. His expression is still wary, but his thin mouth relaxes. “And letting you do this to me will strengthen your bond to the Dark Side of the Force?” 

The words sound awkward in Hux’s mouth—he’s too pragmatic, too mundane a man to give them the weight they deserve. Nonetheless, Kylo nods. 

Hux leans back in his chair, taking in Kylo from head to toe again with one sweep of his eyes. Kylo suddenly feels the desire to not be found wanting in Hux’s eyes. He holds it in his mind, marveling at the impulse. “Very well,” Hux says, with a sharp intake of breath, as if waking. “Supreme Leader has tasked me with assisting your training, so I consent. What, exactly, will the rite consist of?”

Specifics are not a strong point of Sith lore. Their flexibility is what gives them their very longevity. Still, Kylo tries—it’s the least he can do, now that Hux has ensured that he will not return to his master a failure. “When the temptation grows too much, I would come to you.”

“And…?” Hux prompts.

Kylo presses his lips together, furrowing his brow. “It is easier to show you than to tell you. May I?”

Hux blinks, seemingly taken aback that Kylo would ask for permission after having so readily consented. He has been very careless with Hux, Kylo thinks. He will try to do better, now that Hux is of use to him. 

Hux nods.

And Kylo falls upon him until he cries out against his cheek and comes into his hand. 

 

True to his word, Kylo waits until the temptation grows too much to bear before darkening Hux’s door. He parcels his visits out, like fuel or water. He waits until Hux’s even gaze drives heat into his skin, until catching a glimpse of the soft underside of Hux’s jaw makes him tremble, until his dreams of Hux grow so detailed that he wakes up hard and aching. 

At first, Hux is quiet, startled by Kylo’s devoted attentions. It doesn’t take Kylo long to map out Hux’s body and his responses—the humming groan he makes when Kylo mouths at his neck, his surprisingly sensitive nipples, the hitched, choking noise he makes when he comes. 

But Hux is also a quick study, and he soon grows bolder. When Kylo presses him up against the wall with his own body, Hux grinds back with ferocious and single-minded intent. When Kylo takes him in his mouth for the first time, he tries to press his boot—Kylo had been too hasty to undress him—against Kylo’s cock, hard and straining in his leggings, firmly enough to make Kylo cry out around Hux’s length and gag. And when Kylo lays him across the desk in his personal quarters and opens him up with his fingers until Hux comes from that alone, Hux, still shaking from his orgasm, clenches down on his fingers and whines for his cock. 

Kylo initially takes it for Hux being unused to having a partner who does not reciprocate, despite giving off every possible signal that he wants to. But when it comes to Hux, there are no accidents. 

Kylo learns that one evening, Hux flushed from tip to tern as he lies on his bed, three of Kylo’s fingers pressed so deeply inside of him that Kylo’s knuckles bump against his stretched, oiled rim. When he crooks his fingers, Hux moans, throwing his head back. When he looks back up, his bright eyes are unfocused, dazed, but his expression is sharp and malicious. “You’re going to break, Ren,” Hux says, baring his teeth. “One of these nights. One of these nights, you won’t be able to hold back and you’re going to fuck me. You’re going to starve on your ideals, Ren, and I will be there when you betray— _ah_!” Hux cries out as he comes, spurting over himself and Kylo’s hands. 

It’s in Hux’s nature to tease and taunt like this. It makes the temptation all the more palpable, more real, knowing how much Hux _wants_ him and in such specific detail. It’s taxing, exhausting even, but it only proves Hux’s suitability for the rite. Sacrifice is empty piety if one does not sacrifice something one wants. 

And Kylo _wants_ Hux, so much so that it overwhelms him. He knows he should not, but he enjoys Hux’s efforts to tempt him. He loses himself in the things Hux hisses at him as he drives him, unrelentingly, to orgasm. “I want to choke on your cock,” Hux whines. “Don’t you want to see the general on his knees for you? Don’t you want to come on my face?”

It’s sometimes less the content of Hux’s words—he is less inspired than he thinks he is—and more the tone of his voice that haunts Kylo, reappearing in his dreams. It’s cunning and cruel, yes, but underneath, it is _desperate_. 

 

Tonight is no different. 

They’re lying on their sides in Hux’s bed, pressed together back to front. Hux is naked, exposed, in Kylo’s arms, panting as Kylo twists his hand up and down his shaft, slick with precome, in maddeningly slow and familiar strokes. Kylo is, as always, fully dressed, save for his gloves and boots, a last but sadly necessary line of defense against Hux’s manipulative ministrations. If he were _better_ , he would not need it, nor would he need the ring currently squeezed around the base of his cock, hard and throbbing against the curve of Hux’s ass. 

But he must learn to accept his limitations, however ungracefully. 

“Fuck, _Ren_ ,” Hux moans, elongating his name into incoherence. His skin is blazingly hot against Kylo, even through the layers of his robes. He writhes and grinds back onto Kylo, who grabs Hux’s hip with his free hand to steady his squirming hips. But he only succeeds in pulling their hips more perfectly flush, pressing Hux into him. The pressure is exquisite, and it makes Kylo squeeze his eyes shut and whine, pure lust pulsing through his body. _Want_ , he thinks. _This is what wanting feels like._

Hux turns his head back, warm breath ghostly against Kylo’s lips. Kylo opens his mouth involuntarily, breathing in Hux’s faint, smoky breath. He can kiss Hux, and he does, but it can only be for Hux’s pleasure, not his own.

So he’s never kissed Hux on the mouth, never felt him yield to his lips in that way. 

“I wish you would fuck me,” Hux breathes against his mouth. “You must be aching for it— _nngh_ —for me.” He grinds back against Kylo, and Kylo lets him. “ _Stars_ , I bet you’re leaking just thinking about it.”

Kylo grimaces and breathes in through his nose to steady himself, because he is, he is. Even with the ring, his cock is throbbing out a thudding beat that echoes painfully in his head. “It’s not healthy,” Hux continues, pausing to moan when Kylo squeezes his shaft harder, “not healthy for a man your _size_ to deny himself. It’s a _waste_.”

Kylo increases the speed of his hand while tightening his grip, in an attempt to shut Hux _up_ , but Hux loves nothing more than the sound of his voice, even as he drips more precome over Kylo’s thick-knuckled fingers. “ _Fuck_ ,” Hux curses. “Fuck, I bet your cock is enormous. It feels like it is. I’d choke on it. I’d barely fit around it. It’d feel like the first time, but you wouldn’t treat me like it was, would you?”

“No,” Kylo agrees, the word escaping him almost against his will. Hux’s hips begin to snap forward, chasing the pace Kylo’s set on his cock. 

“No,” Hux groans, the sound reverberating through the press of their bodies. “No, you know how much I can take. _Stars_ , Ren, you could have me in an instant. You could fuck me in any hole you want. I’d let you do anything to me, Ren. I _would_ ,” Hux chokes out, voice almost cracking.

Hux arches his back, relieving some of the pressure on Kylo’s straining erection as he leans back far enough to nip sharply at Ren’s jaw and ear. “If you only betrayed your order. Your _self_. Everything you stand for. And you _will_. You’re not strong enough to resist it. You’re already in my bed, Kylo, all you have to do is _fuck_ me. It would feel so _right_ , it would feel so _good_ —”

Hux is cut off by his orgasm, which hits him with enough force to make him tense and cry out. Kylo works Hux through it roughly as he comes in three increasingly weak spurts, come dribbling over his knuckles. Kylo bites his lip. If he opens his eyes, he’ll see Hux, red, wrecked, and splattered, and just the idea of that makes him shake and leak. Hux murmurs something as he goes limp, but Kylo misses it as he lets out a great, shaking sob into Hux’s naked, freckled shoulder. 

He knows how good it would feel. He’s dreamed it, he’s imagined it, he’s been told it. Hux would be so tight and _warm_ around him, panting and whining obscenely while Ren fucked him ruthlessly, mouth hot and wet under his. The thought of coming in Hux, marking him so viscerally as _his_ , is almost too much. 

It would be _sweet_ to spend his chastity on Hux, make him bear that burden. And Hux is right, it would take so little. They’re already perfectly positioned. All he would have to do is pull his straining cock out and press into Hux until Hux is panting, begging, quivering beneath him, _around_ him. Kylo can feel the serrated edge of his desperate, base desire for Hux so keenly, as if it’s slicing him in half. Kylo sobs once more, tensing as if towards climax, and—

And Kylo touches the Dark Side, or it touches him. 

Somewhere, distantly, Hux is still limp in his arms. But here, there is only the great void, ringed in painful light like an eclipse, the unyielding, terrible power of the Dark Side filling its endless, hungering depths like blood in a body. 

Kylo’s body goes cold. He roars into the void and it roars back—at him, _into_ him, the droning noise vibrating through every cell, every atom of his being. The sound splits him open, again and again. For a long, terrible moment, Kylo is suspended in agony, flayed open to his very essence.

And then the pain leaves him, and with it, his weakness—his doubt, his fear, his lust for the man lying spent in his arms. The Dark Side sees him and accepts him as its own. 

He has been weighed, he has been measured, and he has not been found wanting. 

Kylo does not come, but the Dark Side takes that from him too, leaving him clean, pure. Eventually, after a moment or an eternity, he finds himself back in his body, Hux struggling to release himself from Kylo’s crushing grip. The cold of the void has seeped through his body to his clothes to Hux’s naked flesh. 

He releases Hux and rolls onto his back, panting. The first layer of his robes are completely soaked with cold sweat. It’s uncomfortable. 

When he turns to look at Hux, Hux is also on his back, staring grimly at the ceiling. His hands are twitching where they lie on his chest, as if for a cigarra. Normally, Hux’s agitation spurs Kylo on, but at the moment, it lies entirely outside of Kylo. He has been purified. Hux, in anger or lust, cannot touch him now. 

Hux’s powerlessness in this moment drives Kylo to uncharacteristic gentleness. 

“The ritual does not bind you to me,” Kylo reminds him. “You are free to seek other partners who may please you more completely, if you so choose.”

A moment ago, the idea of other hands on Hux’s flesh would have driven him mad, driven his teeth into Hux’s shoulder to mark him with bruises and bites. But it is nothing to him now. He marvels anew at the power of the Force. 

“Unfortunately,” Hux says, “ _you_ are the only partner I want.” He works his jaw, as his hands continue to twitch and tense. There are empty spaces in his words and his motions, spaces where Hux would have lit the cigarra he obviously wants, taken a drag, and blown out a plume of tense smoke. Hux sneers and chuckles mirthlessly. “How _inconvenient_ , that he who wants and is wanted should be a Knight of Ren.”

And, for once, Kylo agrees with the general.


End file.
